There was always this saying “fake it till you make it”, but last time i checked faking it never got me anywhere. Why fake it when you can faith it? But the thing is faith is neutral. You are going to have faith in whatever you are feeding yourself. Romans 10:17 “So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.”   In the year of 2018 God came in and shook my foundation of faith. I was living in fear more than i was living in faith.  I was trying to make things happen out of my own strength. I was saying, “yeah God, i know your all powerful, but i got this!” It only left me drained and frustrated because i really didn’t have a clue. Its crazy how I was operating. I knew God to be all powerful, all knowing, and present every where, yet i was still trusting in my own strength more than his. If someone is all powerful, all knowing, and present everywhere then it seems to me that would be the perfect person to run to and lean and depend on. He should’ve been my source because what more could i ask for if i have the all powerful God on my side. I was forced to do a major self assessment. I said i believed in God, but did i really believe in God? Did i trust him to make good on his promises? Sadly I had to admit to myself i was not truly trusting in God. Hebrews 11 :6 “But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.” This is when it was like a light bulb came on in my head. It was a major break through for me because when i was able to admit i was not trusting in him i started to understand why i was making such poor decisions and causing so much chaos within my life. 2018 showed me how to allow God to be God in my life and enter his rest. I had to learn my faith shouldn’t be in me or in any other human being because by us being human we will mess it up every time. My faith should rest in God and who he is and who he created me to be. 2 Corinthians 1:20 ” For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us.” This is a scripture that helps strengthens my faith daily when I  look around and in the natural things don’t seem to look like they are in my favor i can rest assured God has already worked it together for my good in the supernatural, i am just learning to wait with patience on his perfect timing. Faith it till you make it because God will make good on his promises.

 

When my boyfriend and I used to have arguments he used to say a lot of mean and hurtful things to me. Of course i was so not innocent either because i said my fair share of evil things too. I used to always tell him words are like bullets once you pull the trigger you cannot take them back because the bullets have already started traveling and once they hit the intended target there will be damage whether big or small. Words are very powerful that’s why it is so important to be mindful of the words we speak.  “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it [for death or life].” Proverbs 18:21 (AMPC)  That’s why i always hated the saying ” sticks and stones may break my bones, but words you say wont hurt me.” That saying is not completely true because words do hurt when they are not used in the way God intended for them to be used. I don’t know about anyone else but words used to hurt me bad, and i don’t know about anyone else but i  used to cry off of the words people spoke. I must admit words still hurt  but i don’t allow them to affect me the way they used to when i was younger. Words have the the power to destroy or restore a person’s reputation. Words have the power to declare someone guilty or prove someone’s innocence. They have the power to stir up strife or bring peace. They have the power to tear down or build up. The words we speak have the power to change the mood of the whole room for worse or for better. When God brought it to my attention about how damaging our words can be i started paying attention to the words i spoke and the words others spoke. I realized that people speak so many things to and about others and they justify it. But, when someone speaks evil to or about them they get angry on go on a path of revenge. I started asking God why do we do this? It sounds very delusional to speak ill or others, but not want others to speak of you. He showed me that it can become a never ending cycle of sowing and reaping evil words. We seem to have a hard time understanding we reap what we sow. We sow evil, but we expect to receive good. The words we speak  are not an issue all by them self , but it is the source in which they come from, which is the heart.   ^“A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.” Luke 6:45 The evil we speak reveal the evil nature within our hearts. Words of anger, worry, fear, revenge, gossip, manipulation, pride, self-pity, jealousy, insecurities, and etc all come from an evil heart. Instead of trying to justify  evil words we speak we should own up to them and admit that they are evil. The words we speak are only a reflection of what our  hearts are full of. A lot of us are full of deception because we think we can speak evil words but, yet say that our hearts are not full of evil. James 3:8 says “But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.” No man can tame the tongue because the tongue is linked to the heart and only God can  give us a new heart, and replace our self-centeredness with His love. Therefore, we must stop justifying the evil words we speak and call them what they are, and we must learn to depend on and rely  on God  to bring about the change in our hearts. If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and walks like a duck then it is a duck!!! Our words have power. Let’s  start using our power to call life into dead situations, to build up and not tear down, to create peace instead of strife, to lead in the path of truth instead of deception. The things we speak are the fruit we eat. “For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” Matthew 12:37

When people used hurt me or mistreat me my natural instinct used to be to treat them like they treated me or try to make them feel the pain I felt. After years of trying to respond that way i learned that it was hurting me more than it was hurting them because that is not who i was. Trying to get even takes too much energy and anger for me. I become tired and frustrated way too fast trying to go back and forth that i just give up. I have learned that instead of  doing people how they do me its just better off to forgive and move on and/ or remove my presence from them. I  believe removing my presence will hurt them worst than doing what they did to me if they truly care. Because I have been learning to value myself and see myself the way God sees me. One thing i  know now is  I’M one DOPE individual and the vibe i have you cannot get anywhere else. Now i just pray and ask God to help me continue to remain dope regardless of how they treat me or what they say about me. When i start trying to treat people how they treat me i am changing who i am to tolerate them in my life. I have made up in my mind to refuse to change who i am. i am going to continue to be good to them regardless. Its not my problem if they cannot appreciate my goodness, but with all due respect i don’t mind taking my goodness where it will be appreciated. No point in treating them like they treat me and trying to kick someone when they are down because only hurt people hurt people. They don’t need my help being hurt because they already are. Baby i am learning to let that hurt go and keeping it moving. I’m on a journey to growth and i’m not trying to be bitter and I’m just trying to be better. 

 

At the beginning of the year I asked God to reveal me to myself. Of course me being me i wanted to hear about all the good stuff, but of course God being good revealed to me what i needed instead of what i wanted. He started revealing some of the toxic behaviors that i had developed over the years. Over the course of the months this year he has revealed my nature through observing my children. He assured me that in no way he was upset with where i was but that he wanted more for me. He let me know he cannot help me get to where i want to be if i do not recognize where I am. 2018 has been very humbling for me because God has shown me that the things and I am praying for and the things he wants to do through me is going to start requiring meat instead of milk and he wants to get me prepared. Below i will share a few encounters between me and my boys.

Lack of trust

1. One day my two sons and I were getting ready to go to my aunts house. Before i could even put the car in reverse my 9 year old asks where we were going? I immediately respond with what my mom used to tell me “Just sit back and ride”. The spirit prompted me to ask did he trust my driving skills? He immediately replied yes! I told him well that  is all that matters is that i get us where we need to be, like i always do. God immediately convicted me because i started to get angry. He showed me that at times i can be like my son always asking where God where, when God when, how God how, and why God why, while at the same time saying that i trust him. HE let me know i need to learn how to sit back and just ride and trust him to get me to my destination like always. Just because i do not know where I am going does not mean he will not get me where i need to be. Sometimes not knowing is the best thing for us because if some of us knew where we were going we would try to get out of the car before we made it to the destination.

Lack of Patience

2. My two year old kept asking for some milk. I was trying to complete what i was doing, so i kept telling him to wait. He kept asking and was screaming and hollering like i told him no.My two year old knows what wait means because there i have been several occasions where i told him to wait and then got the milk when i was done. But he wanted me to get the milk on his time frame and not mine. God told me that i can be very impatient at times just like my two year old, i can get all upset and throw a pity party because he said wait.  A lot of times God is not saying no he is simply saying wait, but when you want God to move on your timing instead of his, you become frustrated.  He is teaching me that if he says wait learn how to wait with a positive and hopeful attitude. I say he is faithful, but getting all upset and pouting does not line up with the declaration. Numbers 23:19 says  ^“God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good?” God is teaching me that if he said it he will do it, i just need to learn to trust in his perfect timing.

Lack of Contentment

3. We went on a family outing last weekend. We went in the store and both of my boys wanted a toy so i allowed both of them to pick out the toy they wanted. My 2 year old got a motorcycle and my 9 year old got a power ranger. Both of them were satisfied with their choice of toy until we made it home. When we make it home 2 year old decides he does not want his toy he wants his big brothers toy. He gets mad and throws a fit falling on the floor saying it was not fair that he could not have a power ranger. In my head i’m crying laughing thinking, i told him he could get whatever toy he wanted. God revealed to me that is how i can be at times. I can pray for something and my prayers are answered and i am happy and satisfied with my request. But, somehow i start looking and comparing myself to others and allow the devil to convince me that somehow what they have is better than mine or they are better than me. That is how it becomes very easy to fall into the trap of complaining  and not being satisfied with the things God has already done. Comparison is not wise (See 2 Corinthians 10:12-16) The comparison trap coerces us to turn inward, to focus on ourselves and what we lack and this leads to discontentment. In order to be content i must learn to be thankful for the things God has already done, this helps take the focus off of myself and shift the focus on the goodness of God.

God Chose me

4. One morning I was getting ready for work and getting my boys ready for school and my 2 year old son comes running up the hallway screaming with so much excitement “move out the way mama i have throw some paper away for my daddy!” I looked at him like dude! you just throwing away a piece of paper away, sit down somewhere. God immediately reminded me not to  miss the true message. My baby was not excited about what he was doing, he was excited because of who chose him to do it (Which was his dad). We are already chosen by God, regardless of what we are doing we can be excited because he chose us. Even with a simple thing such as throwing a piece of paper away. Jeremiah 5:1 says “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” 

2018 has been such an amazing year for me. I have done a lot of self- evaluation and shed many tears. I am so thankful that a lot of the things i once were blinded to, God has been revealing them to me so that the work can begin. God has helped me grow so much within this year. I  am not where i want or need to be but i am so thankful i’m not where i used to be. Learning to trust God, being  patient and content, and knowing we are chosen by God is very important on. I pray that God would continue to mature me and you so that will not require milk all of our lives, but be able to handle the meat, so that we can go on to do great things for the Kingdom of God.

 

When Micheal Jordan releases a new pair of shoes the price does not fall below a certain amount. Regardless of what critics may say he is confident in his product that even if you or I do not buy his product someone will. Truth be told if someone wants something bad enough they will be willing to pay the price. Just like Jordan we need to learn our worth regardless of what anyone else says. The people who want to be in our lives will be willing to pay the price. When you do not know your worth people will try to tell you what you are worth. People have a tendency to want to pay you what they think you are worth rather than your actual value. As human beings we try to tell people what they are worth based off of our own perceptions and opinions. Truth be told our opinions and perceptions are flawed. The statement “well my man/woman is not complaining” is a statement that we can speak in confidence because we know what our significant other thinks of us.We have to learn what God says and thinks about us. He is the one who created us, so who better to learn who we are than from our creator. Once we learn what God says about we will know our worth. We will stop settling for less than our worth. We will start demanding that people pay full price or kindly move onto the next seller.  We have to be confident enough that even if one individual may not be willing to pay what we are worth someone else is willing to. This is how we start to weed all of the unnecessary individuals out of our lives. The people who are not willing to pay the full price are leaches trying to get us to reduce the price for their benefit instead of ours. We can kindly say, “thanks, but no thanks I know my worth!” Just like Jordan still earns his money without lowering his price, the right people will cross your path when you stand firm. We have to learn to be confident in who God created us to be. God says, “that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, his works are wonderful.” (Pslam 139:14) When others try to tell us we are not enough , we are not cute enough, smart enough, or etc. we can say with confidence that “God is not complaining!” I have learned that people do not mind telling us what we are not, but we have to start telling them what we are. There is power in I AM……

 

Are you the passenger of your life or the driver? Many of us would like to say that we are the driver, but deep down inside we would know it is not true. All throughout the day we can choose to be the driver of our life, but instead we choose to be the passenger. God says that “he has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7).  Yet so many of us walk around feeling powerless and living in fear. It is not because we lack power, but that we keep giving it away to events in our lives and other people. The only power any one has over us is the power we give to them. For years I felt powerless. I had been in what seems like a never ending cycle of feeling pitiful and powerless. I was allowing the opinions of others to shape my perception of myself. When negative situations or events occurred i would immediately get upset and allow the situations to mess up my entire day. When things were good i was happy and when things were bad i was unhappy. But, truth be told life is not peaches and cream. There will always be people who do not like me, people will always form negative opinions of me, and their will always be negative events and circumstances that will arrive.  It is up to me on whether or not i receive or reject the negativity.  I was tired of being on an emotional roller coaster. This year i decided i was not going to be a victim, but i wanted to overcome the obstacle of giving away my power. This year has been all about me taking back my power.  This is only the beginning!! I am slowly taking back my power. Here are a few things i have been trying to work on to reclaim my power:

1. Be proactive and not reactive.When you wake up each day choose what type of day you are going to have. The type of day you choose to have should not be centered around anyone else’s mood or actions. It  is up to you to decide to have a good day despite what happens.
2. Do not allow others to bring out the worst in you. You should act according to your own values not matter what is going on around you.
3. Watch what you are paying attention to. Whatever you put into your mind grows. If you are paying attention to negative situations negativity will grow.
4. what people do or do not do does not determine your worth. Your values do not come from anyone but yourself.
5. Forgive. When you hold unforgiveness you are giving your power away. It allows the person to hurt over and over again mentally each time you think about it.
6. Not everyone will like you or support you. Stop seeking validation, and start approving yourself.
7. Have compassion for others. Just like you have bad days and may be off your game other individuals have bad days too. Do not take everything personal.
8. Proverbs 18:21 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof” How are you using you power? are you using it to speak life or death into yourself, others, and situations?
9. Know what to ignore. Some things are just not even worth addressing or giving energy to.
10. Learn to say “NO” when you want to say “NO”!!! You do not have to allow people make you feel guilty when you tell them “NO”.

I challenge you today to join the journey with me and TAKE YOUR POWER BACK!!! Get out of the passenger seat and get in the drivers seat. Decide today that you are going to be in control of how you feel, think, and behave regardless of the situation you find yourself in.

How you ever been sick and wished you would feel better without going to the doctor? Yeah I know it sounds insane, and many would say well if you are sick why not just go to the doctor? Well this what God said to me. I wasn’t hurting physically, but deep down I was hurting spiritually. I could not figure out what was wrong. Everyone knows how you get when you’re sick you start going to the internet researching all your symptoms and before you know it you have diagnosed yourself with some type of cancer. This is what we do with our spiritual lives we diagnose ourselves with the: maybe when I get a better job, when I meet the right one, or when I have my dream house, or X amount of money in my bank account I’ll feel better. Some of these things could be a problem but more likely than not these are not the real illnesses we are suffering from. One day I was praying and I began to cry and I’m talking to God and I began to start telling him I didn’t know what was wrong with me but something was wrong.  I started telling him the problems or things that were affecting me (my symptoms). He responded “now I can heal you.” I was like huh? He reminded me that just like the doctor has the knowledge to be able to diagnose you properly and prescribe accordingly, He has the power to heal (which I already knew, but he knew I needed to be reminded). He cannot heal those hurting and broken places (doubt, insecurities, fears, hurts, misfortunes, etc.) if I don’t come to him and allow him to heal those areas. Hebrews 4:16 says “Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in the time of need.” See many times we only want God to work in certain areas in our lives. (talents, gifts, careers, money, etc.) God reminded me that you can be used when you are sick but, when you are sick you are not at your best and you will only be able o go for so long. Just like when you are sick physically you can only go for so long before your body gives out. He said, “but when you allow me to come in and heal the hurting areas and  the illness/illnesses, your sustainability increases.” Everyone knows after you have gotten over your illness you feel like a brand-new person. Well that night after I had cried to God and explained to him my symptoms I immediately started to feel better. It was like a burden had been lifted off me. I heard a whisper “just what the doctor ordered!” I began to cry so hard because I knew then this was just the healing I needed. Then I remembered Matthew 11:30 which says “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” I encourage you to not only let God in on the good stuff, but the bad stuff too because he is the only one who has the proper healing for your illness/illnesses.

Thanks for joining me!

Hello everyone,

My name is Laqualia. I am not a person who is very big on sharing personal things about my life. I am very picky over the individuals I choose to share things with (whether good or bad). For a long time I had been praying asking God to help make a difference. He responded back God told me to start a blog. I said blog? God are you sure a blog is for me? i was puzzled when God said blog because blogging was not even aligned with my personality. I don’t like sharing things about myself with strangers and I most definitely don’t know what to say. He told me not to worry about the having the words to say just be obedient. I contemplated over it for months and kept asking him was he sure. After a while i did not have to ask him was he sure anymore because i knew that he was. He kept revealing certain things to me that I just felt like I had to share and could not hold it in any longer. One thing i have been learning about God is he will not ask you do to anything that you do not already have the potential to do. You may not see the potential, but he does, and that is all you need. Step out on faith and allow God to help develop the potential you never knew you had. Here I am starting this blog post with faith in God and potential that he sees in me. The only thing I can do now and trust God and allow him to work.

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton